Drowning doesn't look like drowning
Res Ipsa Nota - abuse in the context of real life scenarios
*This post talks about suicide. Please take care while reading.*
I often passed the unmistakable Solid Rock Church at Market Common, situated within a quaint planned community in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, on visits with my dad. At the time, he lived only a few blocks away.
“What’s the story with that church?”
He shrugged.
“The story with that church” would end up as many stories on the news, headlines in papers, and YouTube videos trying to piece together the last hours in the life of Mica Miller, the wife of the pastor.
Mica’s body was found at 4:23 p.m. EST on April 27, 2024 in a swampy area at North Carolina’s Lumber River State Park. She died from a gunshot wound to the head. Approximately forty meters away, a man hiking in the park found her belongings, along with shell casings.
Only two weeks before, she had filed for divorce from John-Paul Miller (“JPM”)1, the pastor of Solid Rock Church, who had been served with the divorce filing less than 48 hours before Mica died.
A myriad of allegations regarding their relationship emerged, including Mica’s report that she had known him since she was 10 years old and he had “groomed” her into a relationship with him. She eventually married him in 2018 when Mica was 24 and JPM was 39. She had previously been the nanny for his four children with his former wife.
Because of the timing of her death in relation to the divorce, and because of her allegations, her family and many others did not believe at first that her death was a suicide. They understandably believed that her husband likely had something to do with her death.
He did, just maybe not in the way they had originally thought.
The medical examiner went on to rule Mica’s death a suicide after assessing the scene, reviewing a 9-1-1 call she placed prior to allegedly shooting herself where she said, “I’m about to kill myself,” and Mica’s purchase of the gun used in the shooting just hours earlier.
Still, many wondered why would someone who was taking active steps to be free from a terrible spouse, then commit suicide?
JPM’s father pastors another church in the Myrtle Beach area and according to records, JPM pastored under him before leading Solid Rock Church. Prior to his marriage to Mica, JPM and his first wife had been married for sixteen years.
Not long before she filed for divorce, Mica actually began communicating with JPM’s first wife, including asking for the names of people, including counselors, to help her escape from her marriage to JPM. One voicemail from Mica to JPM’s first wife ended up as an exhibit to a legal filing to protect the couple’s children:
Hey Ali, it’s Mica. Um, this is my new number, please don’t give it to anybody. But I just wanted to see who your counselor was to help you walk through forgiveness and stuff and um, keep your heart right through all of this ‘cause I don’t want to, I don’t want to lose myself in this and I don’t want to pursue anything out of anger, vengeance, or anything like that. I just want to be free and have peace and keep my soul right. So if you just text me a name even of a good counselor, you know I’d greatly appreciate it. Thanks. Bye.
JPM committed Mica to a psychiatric hospital in February 2024 and when she was released, her car was missing, alleged to have been taken by JPM. Only a few months later, Mica would go on to commit suicide.
Over the course of the next year, many allegations and revelations came out about JPM, including that he cheated on his first wife with Mica, that he “employed prostitutes,” and had been “sexually inappropriate with several underage female members.” Also, prior to her death, one of Mica’s tires had been slashed and on four occasions between March-April 2024, she reported a tracking device on her car. When officers investigated the tire and tracking device, Miller told them that JPM, “has a history of similar actions against her.” According to Mica’s sister, Mica told her on more than one occasion that if she ended up dead, it was JPM who did it.
JPM admitted to putting tracking devices on Mica’s car and posting a nude photo of her online then removing it.
Just this week, a new lawsuit was filed against JPM alleging when he was 19 years old and a youth leader at the church his father pastored, he raped a 15-year old girl. Then more recently, he sexually assaulted that same woman, now an adult.
The allegations and admitted actions of JPM toward Mica are consistent with coercive control and abuse, and are consistent with allegations of his abusive behavior toward other women. Mica’s message to JPM’s ex-wife is consistent with an abuse victim just trying to understand what has happened to her and untangle the knots that were tied in her brain by her abuser.
If you would have asked me at almost any time in my life if I considered myself suicidal, I would have answered you with a flat, “No.”
I never actively wanted to die. I never had a specific plan.
But did I want to be “unalive” at various points?
Absolutely, yes.
There are many complex and layered reasons for suicidal ideation and suicidal attempts. But there is a strong and consistent association between domestic abuse and suicidality, both in intimate partner abuse and in child maltreatment.
Keep reading with a 7-day free trial
Subscribe to Res Ipsa with Melissa J. Hogan to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.